Attitude adjustment!

    It was brought to my attention  that my blog hasn't been as upbeat lately as it has in the past. It's true. It hasn't. There have been reasons but I am starting to get back to my old self again.

   Thanks to a new way of bonding the prosthetic joint to the bone, on December 30, I had a total joint replacement on my right knee. . The surgery was successful and the doctor wants to do my left knee but I don't think that's going to happen. One thing that was not taken into consideration when I chose to try knee replacement was the muscle atrophy that would take place while I was healing and the difficulty I would have rebuilding muscle mass. My testosterone is undetectable and will be for the rest of my life. It is extremely difficult to rebuild muscle mass without testosterone. I suffer from chronic muscle fatigue and it has really been frustrating as I have been active my entire life.  My knee no longer hurts so I am not complaining but it has had a negative affect on my overall well being and mind set. I cannot do a lot of the things I use to do prior to surgery. I get tired. Simply walking around our property is exhausting. To stay in shape I use to ride my bike a few times a week. Now it sits in the garage. It was also a very long cold winter and I was largely housebound for the duration.The sun has been out for about a month and it has helped a little but it also brought a new problem. My knees are now the largest part of my leg. Wearing shorts looks stupid. At least I have not lost my sense of humor.

   For many years, I haven't been affected much by Prostate Cancer symptoms or treatment side effects. They were mild or I simply got use to them. Side effects were largely ignored. This is harder but I will get through it.  

   We went to Hawaii to see the grand daughters. It was a good week. I miss them. I miss their parents too but honestly it really is about the grand daughters. It seems every time I have major surgery I get to spend a week in Hawaii during recovery. I am such a lucky man. No... lucky is the wrong word. I am blessed beyond what I ever deserved. I am so grateful for my life and my family. 

   I am finding new things to do. I can't really ride my wakeboard any more but we fill the boat with friends and family and sneak out to a secluded cove and spend the day swimming and I tow everyone and teach the kids how to ride the board. It's good but I do miss catching big air.

   We bought an old Harley soft tail  and have been enjoying exploring our home in a new way. Life is still an amazing wonderful ride. I think maybe I am just slowing down a little. As my mom use to say... "act your age not your shoe size." I think it is happening!   

              Enjoy the Ride!

What would we do without caregivers?

It  will be 17 years in June since my diagnosis. It is so surreal! Statistics gave me five years or less. My doctors gave me less than a year!  17 years. The cancer is still undetectable. There is a trade-off. There is a sacrifice. Men with advanced disease lose a lot of who they think they are along the way. We do, however, find out who we really are!  Testosterone in men  Strengthens/builds bone, strengthens/builds muscle mass, maintains mental sharpness, and accounts for all of what we consider sexual libido/function.  Low T is associated with osteoporosis , depression, fatigue, heart conditions, hot flashesloss of libido, etc  

  Responding extremely well to 2nd gen ADT has extended my life. but I have paid a price. 

      It's getting harder.

I was 42 years old when I was diagnosed, so I was still in that age group where I was really active. The first side effects, of ADT  was fatigue. That could have been the death nail  for me if not for my caregiver, true love, my Wife.  Mandy was dogmatic at keeping me active. She saved my life. Staying active, reduced the fatigue and the hot flashes and helped me to maintain mental sharpness. It combatted depression. I didn't enjoy it and I didn't want to do it but after a while when my body had adjusted to its new chemical make up , and while i had been working through it  by being active, I was able to fight back most of the side effects. I stayed active  while adjusting to a new normal. There was no way I was ever going to recover libido, but we work through that as well. 17 years down the road, we are  still in love and working through that as well.

The newer second gen drugs work better at blocking/stopping Testosterone production. in my case, the drug that I am taking works by blocking residual testosterone production in the adrenals. That would be fine if it was only blocking the testosterones, but what abiraterone acetate does is shut down the adrenal system. This is why patients on Abiraterone acetate have to supplement the steroids their body no longer produces. Like I said, it's a trade-off. The side effects just got worse. It would be fine if I was still in my 40s or even in my early 50s. I am not. When first I started this medication. I was younger.  It was easier. Now I am aging and I'm still trying to maintain physical activity but it's getting harder. Mandy rides her bicycle alone probably half the time. If I ride my bike now it's hard to ride it again for a few  days. The last hike we went on together was on a paved trail on Mount Rainier. I no longer go to work every day. It's probably a good thing because I need naps. I can't work in the yard like I used to. The only way I am able to get anything done  is because when we bought our home, we bought one of those miniature Kabota tractors. It  has been a lifesaver. I can mow the lawn with it and it has a loader bucket, so I'm able to do the necessary jobs that go along with homeownership. It's getting harder . 

The sun came out last week. I was able to go outside. I felt better. It's hardest in the winter time. I used to go to work and although when I was there, I slept in my chair, a lot, at least in the winter time I was able to be a little  active. Now I am just home. I have nowhere to go. I have nothing to do it's cold and it's wet or it's cold and it's snowy or the sky is blue but it's still bitter cold outside. I think staying active is what helps most with the other side effect of androgen deprivation therapy,   depression!.  We are vitamin D, deficient here in Southwest Washington.. The winter blues are very real here. It's worse on androgen deprivation therapy. Winters are hardest, even when I supplement vitamin D.

It's hard, but I have people. I have people who raise my spirits. They cheer me up simply by a phone call or stopping by for a cuppa coffee with a little whiskey, mixed in for flavor. I have my wife who has been there since day one and has never ever stopped being my cheerleader, and a well of encouragement. Sometimes even a swift kick in the ass. Where would I be without her? Where would I be without them my brothers, my friends my family my wife continue to be there for me. They continue to give me a reason to live. They continue to encourage me to live my life every day . Where would I be if they were not in my life? I don't think I would be here.  Kindest regards, Todd