Sunday, January 22, 2017

A Legacy of Hope.

   Early in my diagnosis I lived online. Some of my favorite sites were ask Jeeves, Google, and Yahoo search. I always asked the same question! How long will I live with Stage IV prostate cancer. I played spider solitaire making deals with God. "If I win this game Lord, it means I will live 20 years" Strange stuff! I would try anything to instill a feeling of hope. I spent countless hours reading clinical trail data. I searched for new treatment options. I searched for advanced stage guys who were doing well. I tabulated new treatments that had been approved and those seeking approval. At one time I had a list of 20 or so treatments. My rationale, "If I can get 6 months out of each one then I will live 10 more years. I dreamed of the impossible. I dreamed of being cured. Days turned to weeks, weeks to months, and months to years. It has now been over a decade. Sometime I look back in disbelief and yet I am not surprised. Even though I could not be cured I always believe I would do well against the beast. 
   In the last 128 months since my diagnosis there have been many advances in cancer research. New and amazing treatments are being made available to patients every year. Hope is manifest. Hope breeds hope. We have survived the dark night. One day cancer will be a footnote. I believe I will live to see that day.