D-Day

   I never connected the dots until just now. In Jest, I said my diagnosis date was 666 but never thought of it as being on the day that thousand and thousands of Americans, British,  and a few french 😂 soldiers, kids no doubt scared shitless waiting for the gates of hell to open as they approached the beach amidst a hail of enemy fire. They paid the ultimate price to save the world from Nazi’s. I am humbled and grateful to the greatest generation for answering the call. Thank you and may our Nation forever be worthy of your sacrifice. 

Dang! That teared me up. I hope it touches you to  read this as much as it touched me when I wrote it. What am I talking about?Nobody reads this. Nobody replies. Thats okay. If it helps one person. 

  Today is my DX-Day anniversary. Today marks 18 years. 

To those of you who know my story, you can skip this, but for those who do not, 18 years ago, I was diagnosed with stage IV Prostate cancer. My PSA was over 3200 and the cancer had metastasized to my bones, my lymph nodes and my lungs. Although I was never officially given a prognosis my oncologist at the time. ( he has retired as has my original urologist, as have I ) told me on my 1 year anniversary he did not expect me to make it a year. My 2nd oncologist, gave me a  prognosis of 3 and a half years. That was 15 years ago. To put it lightly, I have done well.I have defied statistics. I have defied logic and I have exceeded every expectation. Some say I am atypical. Statistics would agree. I believe God gave me second chance. 

   A couple years prior to my diagnosis at age 42 I was a mess. I had destroyed my life. Most nights I wanted to die. I wished for it. In a lot of ways I was just done. Nothing had meaning. I was numb. Have you ever wondered if you made yourself sick. I wonder that a lot in hindsight. Some people would say there is science to back it up. There are cases where people actually died of a broken heart. Mine wasn't broken. It was on life support. 

   I was starting to get my shit together when I was diagnosed with this disease. I had family supporting me and someone special in my life. She helped open my eyes to the good in the world and in myself. We married a year later. . God showed me that he was real and breathed life into a heart of stone. Suddenly i was thankful for my life. I was really happy. I wanted to live my life no matter how much longer I had left and I did. I am a better person than I was back then. I am so thankful every day of this journey. It has been a wonderful crazy beautiful ride. 

  Sunday I will celebrate 17 years of marriage to my wife. On our wedding day I i promised her 30 years. Only 13 to go. I may need to renegotiate.