Friday, July 25, 2014

Everybody loves a success story

   My post today reflects my state of mind. Last year I was a rock star. It was fun. I have videos on the Provenge website. If you google my name there is material all over the web both by me and about me. Dendreon took me to meet all the folks who make and market the drug. My picture is on their promotional flyers. I admit it was fun and exciting and God knows I am happy to be doing so well in my fight against this disease. It feels good that my story can be a source of hope and inspiration for others but what about the others. 
   I have friends that are dying. I have friends that are in a life and death struggle with this disease and they are not doing as well as I am. What about them. What about the guys who have run the gauntlet of treatments and have come to the place where palative care is all they have left. What about them. What about their wives and children and grandchildren who are forced to watch this disease take it's ugly toll on the men they love. They are forced to watch these men waste in pain before their eyes. I am one of the lucky ones. I have been blessed but for what reason I don't know. It is true that new drugs are coming out every year that can give quality to life and extend it for months and maybe even years but that is not good enough. I am sick and tired of losing friends. I am sick and tired of watching the clinical trials to see if another new drug is coming down the pipe. I am nobody. I don't deserve the attention I have been given. 
    I believe I will see a cure for this disease in my lifetime. I really do believe it. It cannot come soon enough. That's all I have to say today. I am worn down and my mindset is not real good at the moment. I will be better tomorrow but for now I am sad. Todd