Wednesday, November 15, 2017

What's new in the life of Todd

Frankly, not much. 
    I get my first colonoscopy next Monday. " looking forward to that!"
     I went on my annual elk hunting trip last week. The elk won. I have never had a more miserable time. 2 years ago I took my son up to camp. He was 30 years old at the time. The group that I hunt with got 2 elk. There are about 8 of us that hunt. My son and I were not even there for the second one. I had to fly to Atlanta so he went home. He and I hunted only 5 of 12 days. When we divided the meat up, my son and I each got 5 packages of steak, a roast, and 9 packages of burger. Apparently that wasn't enough. Last year he hunted by himself. He got nothing. This year he hunted and camped by himself and once again he got skunked. I would have liked to have him stay and hunt with us but he didn't want to. He didn't want to split the meat. The trouble is that although he didn't hunt with us he hunted the various areas that we showed him. He hunted the areas we usually hunt. I learned a long time ago that if someone takes you to their favorite fishing hole or hunting spot, you don't go to those places unless you are with them. I confronted him on his lack of sportsmanship and respect,  ( I could have used better words ) I compared his deeds with a guest whom once invited into your home kicks your dog, drinks your best whiskey, and sleeps with your wife. It was a crude metafore but that's all it was. A simple comparison. It didn't go over well. He won't speak to me and said his "Step Dad " was the parent  who was there for him and not me. He is kind of correct in some ways but in my defense his step dad was full time and I was part time. Life is complicated in blended families. It does make sense though. His Step Dad is a jerk too!
   Yeah, I know..... this has nothing to do with cancer. Well, my blog is not about cancer, it is about Living and sometimes living sucks. 
   I was  a part time dad to 3 of my Kids. I have been a full time dad to my 19 year old Step-Daughter. "God I hate that word" I am only using it for clarification. If you Marry a woman who has children, you are a dad. 
Neither of my sons has anything to do with me. I asked my daughter if I was a bad dad. She said I am a wonderful dad. To clarify I am a wonderful dad now. I missed the mark quite often in my younger days. My 19 year old daughter said the same.
   Two days ago a kid from our small community killed himself. He was gay and had a dad that didn't understand.
   Are we ruining our young men?. Does every generation go through this?  
   I use to think my long term remission was a 2nd chance to make things right with my boys. The way things are going, I better live a long time. 
   I know I made mistakes when I was younger. Why do people always feel the need to revisit the past. Can't we just live for today. 
   I don't know what to do. I tried to apologize but I think he has blocked my number. He also unfriended me! WTH! Is that what it is all about now. Oh no.... I am Unfriended. Whatever.
I think my mood for today is bitter. 
   My daughter comes home from Texas in a couple days. It's going to be a good weekend.
   I hope my son gets over it. He is a smart kid. My other son may never pull his head out of his butt. I shouldn't say never though. After all, I am living proof of miracles.