Last night my mind would not shut down. I spent a good portion of the hours I should’ve been sleeping thinking about prostate cancer. Imagine that! In my mind I was doing mathematics regarding PSA doubling time. I realized that with a doubling time of 4 weeks it would only take another 10 months for my PSA to reach my prediagnosis level of 3200. Try sleeping with that on your mind. As terrible as I had been feeling with a PSA of just over 3, I couldn’t stop thinking how bad I would feel with a PSA of 3200. The thought then occurred to me that if treatment ever stopped working I would probably only have a couple years left to live. It was a long night. I guess I must have nodded off around 1:00 a.m. My usual bedtime is 9:00 p.m.
When I woke up at 5 it hit me that my discomfort was not cancer symptoms but rather a lack of steroid. I call that a gift.
I am not looking forward to treatment side effects. I will be sending my doctor an e-mail today suggesting that the next time I am on treatment holiday ( if there is a next time ) that prior to restarting we base that decision on imaging and not just PSA. Todd