We lost our boy!!

It’s still hard to talk about. It’s hard to think about. I been on hormone blockers for so long now it doesn’t take much to turn on the waterworks. I am okay with that.  Grief should be experienced. It should be felt. It starts the same every time. Sadness. Gut wrenching loss! Tears! Memories, laughter because of the memories. These symptoms may come in no particular order but they always end the same! It ends with Healing!! It ends by letting go and knowing those we lose are part of everything we see and everything we can’t. Sometime In the future, I will be able to Remember, and hang out in the joy of the time we shared, and be happy for where he is and I believe with all that I am that I will see him again. 
Sir Broderick Charles the First.

Brody was an impulse purchase. Mandy worked for an OB GYN, and was having serious issues with wanting a baby. Brody was the answer. The day we brought him home he could fit in the palm of our hand and he was a constant companion for 15 years. Truthfully, when we brought him home, I assumed he would live longer than I would. The average life of a Pekingese is 12 years  I have stage 4 prostate cancer. Brody made it 15 years. He lost his eyesight three years ago, trying to take away a ham bone from a dog that was four times his size , it didn’t phase him. Up until the last few months, he would just decide to leave the yard and head into the hills. He was fearless he was brave. He was absolutely beautiful. He always found his way back home but there was times I would be out there looking for him  til midnight and then I’d walk around the corner and he’d be sitting on the porch. 

One morning not too long ago. I woke up and something was wrong. Pekingese breeds are prone to seizures so occasionally Brody would have one, but they didn’t last long so we just held him for a couple minutes until it was over and then he was fine again. He’d had a seizure in the middle of the night and it caused him to have a mild stroke. He wasn’t in pain and as the day progressed, he got better and better and before long he was back to being Brody. Later the following day he had another stroke. It was time. We knew he wasn’t going to come back from it. 

We were ready. I mean seriously he was old and we talked about it constantly knowing we were going to have to take him in, but we had both decided that as long as he was happy, we would wait because he wasn’t in any kind of pain. 

    It was a hard day but it was also wonderful.  Our veterinary office was closed so we had to call around and although we had to drive an hour, the urgent care facility was amazing. They took us to a carpeted room with a couch and a chair and some toys and a fire burning. They took him to another room and started an IV and then they brought him back to us. They had given him a mild sedative because he was in a little distress. He relaxed and even played a little with us and gave us lots of kisses. We were able to say goodbye, and we held him while they administered , the medication’s. 

    It’s been a few weeks and I am healing. Right now I’m in tears but I’m smiling and I am remembering. . Nasty ass little dog!😂😂😂 

Day after trying to take on  Bulldog!

Mommas boy!

Road trip!

Camping life! Damn straight I’m good lookin’