One of the biggest challenges in dealing with this disease for me is maintaining my sanity. Every month I get new blood work and it always includes the usual P.S.A. test. Aside from the monthly anxiety about this test I do really well. Usually the anxiety comes a few days before the test and climaxes as I log on to check the results. There have been times when my hands tremble as I enter my password. It would be no different on Thursday May 29 except I have decided to take the summer off from cancer. I will still have to go in every month for blood work but Thursday I will not be having my P.S.A. tested. I will not spend restless nights waiting on test results. I will not live my life 30 days at a time this year. I am in remission. I will stay in remission all summer long!!!
Cancer is powerless. It cannot steal my joy. It cannot break my spirit. It cannot cause me to lose faith. It cannot take away the love in my heart. It cannot kill my love of laughter. It will not take my life. It will not steal my courage.
Mandy my daughters and I will depart on an eastern Caribbean cruise on Saturday, June 21. I have never been able to take any of my children on a vacation like this. It is my hope that this will be the first of many vacations. I hope that in the near future I will be able to take my sons as well. When we fly to Miami on the 20th I will be leaving cancer behind. I won't think about it. I won't worry about it. I will spend time under the warm Caribbean sun with my family living life out loud.
When a person has cancer it becomes an all encompassing part of life. For eight years now cancer has been the underlying focal point in everything we do. Our life revolves around doctor visits blood tests and treatments. Mandy is tired of it and I'm tired of it as well. I will still write my blog and I will still post at healingwell.com. I will go to my monthly appointments but that is all. It is 2 am. 5 more hours and I get to go home. Good night everyone. Todd