Thursday, August 8, 2013

Here we go

5 a.m. Thursday August 8th. I just swallowed $168.00 worth of Zytiga and prednisone. I thought viagra was expensive.
   It was a sleepless night filled with what if's again. I am not looking foreward to work. I wonder if I can find a place to nap. " the coffee is done"  I am so tired. I feel like I am getting sick. I am congested and my cough is really annoying. Just ask my wife.
    I am so angry at someone who calls himself a Christian that even though I want prayer I cannot ask for it. Last night I could not meditate on psalms 103 verses 1-5. Those verses are my mantra. My mind is foggy. The voice of the unknown quiets not. Please let this medication work for a long long time. Please let the side effects be minimal. Please let my body tolerate the medicine well.
  Last night I kept waking up with the trial drug XL-184 on my mind. It is a drug approved for thyroid cancer that works on prostate and other cancers.
    Why am I seeing the glass half empty. My glass is overflowing. 7 years 2 months and 2 days into this journey and I have only exhausted 1 treatment option. (Cassodex)  I am still on Lupron and Provenge is forever. "Stop worrying dummy"
    I took my first dose of Zytiga 38 minutes ago. I feel good. I get to eat in 25 minutes. So far so good. Have a great day everyone.  Todd