Saturday, October 12, 2013

Crazy busy

I haven't written in over a week. It  has not been for lack of wanting to.
Lately there hasn't been enough hours in the day. I guess the days are getting shorter. Work is keeping me really busy with a ton of overtime and our daughter has volleyball at least two nights a week.
   A lot has happened. I was okayed to begin my third month of Zytiga. Apparently my blood levels and liver functions are holding steady. My P.S.A. has fallen to 1.06. I hope to be in the zero club next month. Today I had a thought that will not let me alone. What if I am not? What if my P.S.A. goes up instead? I know the obvious. I would start Xtandi and then perhaps tak-700 but then what? Taxotere..... Jevtana..... dosataxel.
   There are times when I am uncertain about my future. Sometimes I am afraid. My overall survival depends on the effective duration of the weapons in my Prostate Cancer arsonal. The longer they work the longer I live. I hope that Provenge combined with Zytiga lasts a long time. I want to be cured. I want a cure not a treatment.  I am sick of side effects. I am tired of my wife feeling unwanted and unneeded. She deserves so much better. :-(