Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Month 88

The infusion room is full today.  Nobody speaks. Caregivers sit silent. The weight of the world can be seen in their eyes. I am filled with empathy for them. I think of Mandy. I protect her as best I can but I know it weighs heavy upon her heart..
    I drew the short straw again. My nurse has no tact. She has to have the last word on everything thus exposing her ignorance. I have no patients today. It is not her fault. She tries. I simply hate this place. Empty eyes.
     It is raining. It has been for days. This morning was cold. It feels like we never had q fall this year. Summer ended and winter began. Grey sky's.
    I am so tired today.  I could sleep if I wasn't so cold. My I.V. itches. I wish they would bring in my meds so I could get away from this place.
   It has been 88 months since my.diagnosis.  That is so amazing.

   Last night our daughters J.V. volleyball team won the first two of the three games led by the 9 kills and 3 aces our daughter made. The benched her the last game which the team lost. We were getting ready to leave when the coach told her to go get a varsity uniform. That was the coolest thing ever.  88 months..... If I had listened to the doctors I would have been dead 76 months ago. It would have been sad to miss last night due to premature death.
   I cannot stress enough. Live life outloud. Go for everyrhing. Y.O.L.O