Saturday, June 22, 2013

Why me!

I remember that being my first thought seven years ago. Why me? Why did I have to get this disease?
I still ask that very same question but for different reasons. Now I ask why am I doing so well when others are not?
  Last night my family and I were in Target. As we approached the check out line my eyes were drawn to a girl in a wheel chair. Her pant legs dangled empty below the seat of the chair. It was difficult to tell if she had any legs at all. I felt so sick inside. Every day people face hardships that I cannot comprehend.
I have cancer. Big deal!! I look in the mirror and I am ashamed of myself. I have such a wonderful full life. I live in the most beautiful place in the world and have so many blessings I cannot begin to count them. I wonder if  most people realize how good they have it.
   Vince Flynn passed away from aggressive Prostate Cancer this week at the age of 47. He lived three years from diagnosis. That sucks!! He was so young and so talented.  So I ask again. Why do I do so well when so many others do not? Why Me? I don't have any answers. I am thankful.

Losing my friends is the hardest part about having this disease. I want to see them in remission. I want to see them beat up cancer and take it's lunch money. Some do. Some do not. The sickest are always the bravest. They fight and they believe and they hope and pray. They are the ones who are best at encouraging others. I believe it is because they are closer to God. They squeeze every last drop of life out of the days that they have left and then they give it away. They never feel sorry for themselves.
   I started vacation today. We are leaving for Idaho in the morning. I won't be writing until we return next Sunday. At the moment Mandy and our daughter are kayaking on the lake under the super moon. Life is so good. Todd