In the quiet hours I hear voices. Not the schizophrenic kind. I hear the voice of fear. I hear the voice of doubt. They play games in my head. What is it like to die? Does it hurt? Has it happened before? Is there a heaven? SILENCE! I am sick. I may die. Not Today!
If you hear those doubts in your head you are not alone. With me it is a constant struggle. I maintain may sanity with statistics. It is so funny because when I fired my first doctor I told him I am not a statistic.
I think about my life a lot. I want to do so many more things. I always thought I would have time. If I have a message to those who cannot see that they also will one day expire it would be "stop wasting your days". I know that I never truly started to live until I thought I was going to die. I am not saying that I wasted my first 42 years but the truth of the matter is that I, like so many others, took my life for granted. I no longer do that but I know I can still do better. I can give more back. I can love with all my heart. I can be a better man. I can be a better friend. I hope I have a lot more time but I don't know that I will.
When I hear those voices now, I make friends with them. Todd